Running from sideways dinosaurs
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When your boss says “no worries” but then follows it up with “we can talk about it tomorrow”
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Cards against humanity pairing
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also, muffin fucker is a place now?
There’s no “W” in “muffin fucker”
has anyone ever told you guys how gifted you are? youre smarter than everyone else
Waffle power
(via zackisontumblr)
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I knew it
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Holy guacamole and cheddy cheese!
“I mean, that’s not really that impres–JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.”
JESUS FUCK
(via spongebobssquarepants)
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People also searched for….. Albino ….walruses? You sure?
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At a ball, a princess falls in love with the prince of a far-off kingdom and goes on a journey to find him again. But when she reaches the kingdom, all she finds is centuries-old ruins.
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It’s your wedding day. Only you’ve never met you’re fiance and you don’t actually want to get married. But you have to, for your kingdom. It’s the only way to stop the war. Just before the ceremony, you go outside to get a breath of fresh air where you run into a strange man, and y'all get to talking. You tell him about your predicament when he says “you know, you’re welcome to join my pirate crew if you want. We’re always looking for new people.”
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The world’s supply of apples has run out. The doctors are coming.
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The year is 2307, the Queen of England is still alive.
And still a saucy little minx
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In a world where magic supposedly fixes everything you are the first deaf person to ever be enrolled at a school of witchcraft, or so you thought. You find a friend with the same problem as you who has discovered a spell that will put subtitles above people’s heads, the only downside is that people’s thoughts are also included in the subtitles. What will the two of you do with this newfound information?
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You’ve been on top streaks lately! You’re dating someone you genuinely love and your luck seems to be out of this world; your coffee is always pre-prepared at your shop despite the owners never taking a liking to you, this new bus driver is always on time and your date has arranged for a meal at the most highly rated restaurant in the world!
One particular day someone who used to be cruel to you runs up to you, tears coating their face and panting “please tell ‘em to lay off it! I’m sorry, so sorry!!”
Turns out your hot new date runs the mafia round here, and everyone who works for him has been making sure your day goes smoothly, whatever it takes.
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A hero and a villain, arch nemeses, are the maid of honor and best man at a wedding. They find out at the rehearsal dinner.
